So Hard
by stagediva23
Summary: Things had become stressful in their otherwise happy lives. A year and a half ago they had decided to expand their family. And they had thus far been unsuccessful." Song fic based on the songs "So Hard" and " Lullaby" . Brulian! Please R&R!
1. So hard

**AN: I am a big fan of the Dixie Chicks and was driving back to school after Thanksgiving (a six to seven hour drive where at least four hours are spend on Highway 5, passing cows and abandoned farming land) and this song came on. It was written by and about Martie Maguire and Emily Robison (who are sisters, and members of the Dixie Chicks) and their fertility issues. It made me think of what Brooke is going through now. This is slightly AU, but for the most part follows the storyline. For some reason this storyline has touched me and I really wanted to write fic about it. It seems as if people are angry with Julian and while I think that he is an idiot, he really does love Brooke. While I have never faced fertility issues (not married, not pregnant, never been either) I did some research so have tried to make this as realistic as possible both medically and psychologically. But I have taken some liberties and creative license. Oh! And there is a lot of swearing in this (I swear like a sailor) but I didn't want to rate this story M because other than the swearing it does not really constitute an M rating. If swearing bothers you, don't read this fic. **

**Disclaimer: One Tree Hill and its characters belongs to the CW and to Mark Schwann. The song the "So Hard" belongs to the Dixie Chicks and their record company. The following is a story that is written for purely entertainment purposes, no profit will be made from this story. **

**Back when we started**

**We didn't know how hard it was**

**Living on nothing**

**But what the wind would bring to us**

Struggling would not be the word they would use to describe their lives. A struggle implies trying to escape from something. The actual definition of a struggle is "to make a violent or forceful effort to get free of restraint or constriction"

They may not be living lives of luxury but the were happy and did not feel any necessity to be "freed" from their lifestyle.

"Hey babe" Julian said as his wife of three months walked through the door of their small (or modest as Brooke would say) apartment. "hey hun" Brooke responded whipping sweat off her forehead before collapsing on the couch next to her husband, resting her head on his shoulder. "Tired?" Julian asked smirking down at Brooke. "mmmmm" she replied closing her eyes and sighing. She was working long, seemingly endless hours at BCBG. She had recently moved out of the mailroom and was actually designing clothing. "we had a ton of meetings today all about what the 'image' for the spring line will be, colors, patterns, fabrics, blah, blah, blah. I still can't get over designing clothes for next spring _this_ summer. But they said that they loved everything I was currently working on. Who knows by next year my name might actually appear on a label". Julian ran his hands up and down Brooks bare arm sending shivers throughout her body as he always did when he touched her. "How was your day" her raspy voice asked him. Julian sighed, "reading scripts and writing summaries, as usual. What do you want to do for dinner" he asked as he got up forcing Brooke to fall onto the couch leaving her to shout, "hey!"

Julian walked into the kitchen and began to open cabinets seeing what they had to offer. He had just put on water for Annie's Mac and Cheese (Brooke insisted upon Annie's because it was made with cheese that did not glow in the dark) when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist. "Mac and Cheese? Again?" Brooke asked "how about Thai?" she inquired already knowing the answer. "Brooke," Julian said as he turned around wrapping his arms around Brooke's tiny waist "we don't get our paychecks for two weeks, and we can't afford to order in when we have perfectly good food in our apartment". Brooke rolled her eyes smiling. If you had told her in high school that she would be living in a small, one bedroom, fifth floor walk-up with no air conditioning and eating boxed macaroni she would have laughed. If you told her she would be doing all of that happily, she would have slapped you. Brooke stood on her tip-toes capturing Julian's mouth with hers before moving to lightly bite his ear. "What do you say we skip dinner, and go straight to dessert? I am dying to get out of these hot clothes" she raspily whispered. With his should be illegal grin Julian reached passed his wife and turned off the water. I one swift movement he picked up Brooke slamming his lips into hers as she wraped her legs around his waist. The pair laughed as he carried her to the bedroom, slamming the door behind them.

**Now we've got something**

**I can imagine fighting for**

**So why is fighting all that we're good at anymore**

They had been married for five years now and were both successful in their carriers. They had decided to move back to Brooke's home of Tree Hill after realizing while they loved their jobs the pressures of being an "it" couple and constantly being hounded by the paparazzi was too much. With the wonders of modern technology they were able to live in the small southern town while tele-commuting between New York or LA and flying there when necessary. They were able to live relatively normal lives while still achieving their dreams. Brooke and Julian were delighted that they got to spend time with friends, going to pool parties and back yard barbeques. Brooke loved being able to watch her godson Jamie and later her goddaughter Sawyer grow up.

But things had become stressful in their otherwise happy lives. A year and a half ago they had decided to expand their family. And they had thus far been unsuccessful. A year after they started trying the two went to a fertility clinic just outside of Denver. Not only was it the best clinic in the country but it was also away from the prying eyes of the media - a media who had been asking when Brulian, as they had been dubbed, would have a baby. The last thing they needed was for photos to appear of them entering clinics. Hormone shots, basil thermometers and scheduled sex now ran their lives.

It had been a long day at work for both of them. Brooke was trying to get the sketches for her fall line done while Julian spent the entire day on conference calls about a movie that was set to begin filming in Toronto in three weeks. Julian walked through the door to their large beach house and dropped his bag on the floor. He watched his un-believably sexy wife as she sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen working on her designs. The light was streaming through the large French doors enveloping Brooke in an angelic glow. Julian smirked to himself when he thought of Brooke as an angel. She may look like an angle to the outside world but when they were alone-in the bedroom-she anything but "angelic". It had been weeks since they had sex, and now it seemed as if all sexual acts were purely to conceive a child. Not that he didn't enjoy trying, but scheduled sex kinda took the "drop everything screw on the dining room table cuz you just can't wait to get to the bedroom" aspect out of it.

He crossed the room to stand behind his wife leaning down to kiss her on the neck, a favorite spot of hers. "Julian" Brooke said giggling and turning around to face him. "God your fucking sexy" Julian said slamming his lips to Brooke's and sliding his hands up under her blouse to caress her lower back. "mmmmph" Brooke exclaimed as she moved her face away from Julian's and pushed his hands down and out from under her shirt. "Listen babe, I'm not supposed to start ovulating for another three days. I even checked this morning, and I'm not ovulating yet." Julian pulled back looking at Brooke, "so what, we can't have sex?"

Brooke stood up walking around Julian, in an attempt to avoid his previously roving hands. "You know what Dr. Drummond said. We are not supposed to have sex right before I ovulate. We have to wait. For gods sakes Julian it's only three days. I thought you wanted to get pregnant". Julian rolled his eyes and through his hands up in the air. "I do!" he exclaimed aggravated. "I just want to be able to come home after a long day and make love to my wife without having to worry about your basil temperature or where the fuck you are in your cycle."

"And you think _I_ don't?!" Brooke screamed, "You don't think I wish that we could just conceive a child already? That I enjoy scheduling sex? Or taking my temperature every few hours? Or injecting by body with hormones? Obviously not Julian but it is what _I_ am willing to do in order to get pregnant. All I am asking of _you_ is that you keep it in your fucking pants for three days. Jesus are you such a nympho that you can't wait for three days?" Julian let out exasperated moan "Its always three days Brooke, or seven, or nine. I don't remember the last time we actually had _fun_ when we had sex. There is never any adventure to it anymore, never any spontaneity or heat. And its not like I can even jack-off anymore in case I 'waste my best sperm' _you're_ the one who can't get pregnant, yet _I_ am being punished!"

Brooke's eyes got wide, and her skin paled about three shades. She looked like she had just been slapped. It felt as if her heart had been ripped out of her body leaving a gaping bleeding hole. She began to shake as she stared at Julian. "Brooke-" Julian began feeling true remorse for what had just come out of his mouth. "No," Brooke whispered tears now silently flowing down her face, "Don't. Just, don't" Brooke silently walked to the bedroom door, shutting and locking it behind her sliding down the door. Julian was left standing in the middle of the kitchen listening to his wife's sobs, feeling like things would never be the same.

**And sometimes I don't have the energy**

**To prove everybody wrong**

**And I try my best to be strong**

**But you know it's so hard**

**It's so hard**

She sat on the floor leaning against the bathtub, her arms hugging her knees which were drawn up to her chest. She was holding a little white plastic stick sobbing. One line. One. Fucking. Line. In two years she had taken four pregnancy tests, all negative. A soft knock on the door woke Brooke from her thoughts. "Brooke, Brooke can you open the door _please_?" Haley's soft voice came through the door. Brooke began to breath quickly and erratically, trying in vain to stop the tears from falling. "Brooke if you don't let us in we will just take the door off its hinges, and I don't think Julian will appreciate having to fix the bedroom door". The pair had come over twenty minuets before, picking up Brooke for their "girls day out". She had made the mistake of telling them she thought she was pregnant which had prompted Peyton to run out and buy a pregnancy test, insisting that she take it before they leave. Brooke now regretted giving in to that peer pressure.

Wiping her eyes and taking a deep shaky breath Brooke opened the door, but not before tossing the negative pregnancy test. "Hey guys" Brooke began with a watery smile, "look, I love you two but I have a bad headache and don't think I am up to lunch and shopping today. Can I take a rain check?" Haley and Peyton exchanged looks before answering with a synchronized "no". "We won't go out," Haley elaborated, "we'll order pizza, watch a movie or whatever, but we are not going to leave you alone." Brooke shook her head "I'm really fine guys. I've been through this before okay? It's no big deal, it's not like it changes anything" Brooke pushes past her friends to enter her bedroom and skinning on to her bed.

"Brooke stop pretending this doesn't affect you. Like you're not hurt by all of this." Peyton demanded following Brooke briskly into the bedroom and sitting on one side of her. Haley walked slowly behind her, unable to move as fast as Peyton in her current state. "Talk to us. We're your best friends and we want to help you." Brook looked at Haley's expanding stomach, forcing herself to _not_ think about the fact that Haley and Nathan would most likely be welcoming their second child before Brooke and Julian were able to get pregnant with their first. "There is not much you guys can do. I'm fine, okay?"

Haley and Peyton were at a lack of words. They had watched their best friend struggle and suffer for two years. At first she had been so hopeful. So excited about the prospect of getting pregnant, and having children. Since they had gone to the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine a year ago, and received the news that Brooke only had a 25% chance of conceiving a child, her hope seemed to have dwindled significantly. As had their attendance at family get-togethers. When they did attend Brooke seemed distant, standing in the background, watching the children run around and plastering her face with fake smiles.

"I'm sorry" Haley suddenly broke the silence. Brooke looked over to Haley clearly confused, "why are you sorry Haley?" Haley paused looking down at her belly, "I'm sorry that I am pregnant, that Nathan and I have two children, well one and a half". Brooke looked at Haley is surprise. "Haley, you don't need to apologize just because you can get pregnant. I love having godchildren and nieces and nephews." She looked at Peyton "and before you say anything, don't you apologize for having a child either. I love having Sawyer and Jamie, and with this baby" Brooke continued rubbing Haley's belly "I will have another child to spoil, hop up on sugar and return to you. And if this one is a girl I have another person to teach how to accessorize, cuz no offence Hales but without me your children would wear a lot of knitted clothing". Haley gasped in mock offence and then smiled happy her friend was still able to crack jokes. A silence overtook the three again before Haley stated, "I'm still sorry, not that I'm pregnant, but that you and Julian are so sad. We miss you Brooke Davis…Baker". Brooke nodded wiping the tears that had once again escaped her eyes. Silence again over took the group before Peyton leaped up from the bed.

"Weeeeeeeellll before this becomes a sob fest, lets go downstairs, put in _Blades of Glory_ and eat butter pecan ice cream until we puke" Peyton exclaimed, pulling Brooke up off the bed. "Can we add Vodka Cran to that list" Brooke inquired, "just cran for you preggers" she said to Haley who rolled her eyes. "Of course we can, you fire up the movie and I'll grab the rest from the kitchen," Peyton said ushering them out of the bedroom. The three girls walked down stairs, prepared for their "girls day in", hoping that a day of alcohol, sugar and funny movies could at least temporarily lift Brooke's spirits, and bring back a little of the girl they had all but lost.

**It's so hard when it doesn't come easy**

**It's so hard when it doesn't come fast**

**It's so hard when it doesn't come easy**

**It's so hard**

**It felt like a given**

**Something a woman's born to do**

**A natural ambition**

**To see a reflection of me and you**

**And I'd feel so guilty**

**If that was a gift I couldn't give**

**And could you be happy**

**If life wasn't how we pictured it**

Despite being the south, North Carolina got cold in the winter, especially on the coast. But the cold wind didn't bother her as she sat outside on one of their many decks listening to the waves crash against the beach. It was 3AM and she had yet to fall asleep, plagued by her thoughts. This had become a pattern for her, not sleeping. She would wake up (if she had even been sleeping in the first place) with thoughts of what may never be spinning around her head at break neck speeds and quietly slip out of bed to the patio. The biting wind had a numbing effect. As it began to numb her body, her mind seemed to slow down too…well, sometimes.

Tonight she was plagued with thoughts of her high school sex ed. class. She clearly remembered the teacher, Mr. Heath (a creepy middle aged man with a receding hair line and greasy skin who seemed to love drawing slightly pornographic images on the whiteboard) telling the class that a females' body is biologically engendered to make and carry babies. It was supposed to be a warning, a hint that teen pregnancy could (and would) happen to them if they chose to have unprotected sex. At the time it was something Brooke thought very little of. Now it was something she thought about all the time. She was supposed to have babies. It was her bodies' role. After all, Peyton had Sawyer and Haley had Jamie and, as of four months ago Katharine Brooke Scott. Her friends did not even have to _try_ to get pregnant. Jamie and Sawyer were surprises, albeit delightful ones, and Katie was conceived a month after Haley and Nathan decided they wanted to give Jamie a sibling. It seemed to Brooke as if her body was the only one that had failed. _She_ was the only one to have failed.

She felt a pair of warm muscular arms wrap around her shoulders and a kiss placed on her temple, "what are you doing up baby?" Julian's voice asked, thick with sleep. Brooke sighed before looking up at Julian with blood-shot sleep deprived eyes, eyes that did not quite meet her spouse's "nothing" she responded attempting to wave off his concerned face, "just thinking. Go back to bed". Julian moved to the front of the chair his wife currently occupied before bending down to look her straight in the eyes, "not until you tell me what has had you out here at 3AM for the past week, and not until you join me" Julian demanded.

Brooke didn't respond for what felt like hours. Looking down at the wooden boards of the balcony she quietly croaked out, "I'm sorry". Julian looked at his sleep-deprived wife confused and concerned. "What on earth do you have to apologize for" he asked her brows furrowed. Brooke closed her eyes, pushing back the tears that threatened to fall. She had cried so much over the past two and a half years that her eyes burned almost constantly. With a shakey breath Brooke answered, "I'm sorry I can't give you children". "Brooke" Julian began only to be cut off by a question Brooke had to ask. One that could change both of their lives forever, "if you had known when we met eight years ago. If-if you had know that I…that I couldn't…that I wouldn't be able to…if you had known I couldn't have children would you still have gone out with me? Would you have been able to love me and….and marry me?" Julian opened his mouth to answer but his wife cut him off again, lifting her head and finally looking into his eyes "Cuz if not I understand. If you want to leave me I get it. Just because I can't have our dream doesn't mean you shouldn't have it. I promised you children on our wedding day and I can't live up to that. You should find someone who can. I love you and I don't want to see you sacrifice your happiness for me". Brooke lowered her head again playing with her wedding and engagement rings, unable to look in her husbands eyes the moment he decides to leave her.

Julian was stunned into silence. He stared at his wife in shock. How the hell could she think that he would leave her? "Brooke," he put his fingers under her chin, lifting her head so he was once again looking at her face, wiping away the tears that streamed down. " I love you. YOU are my dream. You gave me everything I wanted the day I got down on one knee on the ice rink in Rockefeller Center and you agreed to spend the rest of your life with me. It is not _you_ whose having difficulty getting pregnant it is _us. _Your problems are _my_ problems-always. I will never _ever_ leave you. If you get pregnant great! If we adopt, awesome! If we decide not to have children, fine! All I need to be happy is for you to be happy, and for you to be in my life. All I need I you." Brooke blinked back tears before stating the obvious, "but you want children" Julian sighed before pulling his wife in to a hug and pressing his lips into her hair, "and so do you. We'll figure everything out-together. Now come back to bed, your freezing and you're a pain when you get a cold-I can't imagine what you would be like with pneumonia". Brooke gave him a weak chuckle as he brought her into his chest walking her back to their bedroom. The two lay curled up under the covers, Julian holding his wife's shivering and shaking body to him until the pair fell asleep both hoping that their lives would turn out happily, even if it were not exactly as they had planned.

**And sometimes I just want to wait it out**

**To prove everybody wrong**

**And I need your help to move on**

**Cause you know it's so hard**

**It's so hard**

**It's so hard when it doesn't come easy**

**It's so hard when it doesn't come fast**

**It's so hard when it doesn't come easy**

**So hard**

**I can live for the moment**

**When all these clouds open up for me to see**

**And show me a vision**

**Of you and me swimming peacefully**

**Last night you told me**

**That you can't remember**

**How to feel free**

It had become a struggle, their lives together. They still loved each other more than anything in the world, would still lay down their lives for the other, but life was different. Three years of trying and two years of fertility treatments had taken a toll on the young couple. It had lead to therapy, to Brooke being diagnosed as clinically depressed and to Julian not being far behind. They were trying to work on it, to find the people and the couple they used to be but it was difficult, and it was painful.

"Julian, when you see yourself in a year what do you see? Not what do you _want_ to see, but what do you actually see?" The red headed therapist asked tucking her hair behind her ear. Julian took a moment to look over at Brooke, who nodded giving him permission to speak freely. "I see more pain, more tears and more sleepless nights for both Brooke and I. I see her slipping farther away from me and deeper into her depression. I see us continuing to be chained to this idea of a baby. I see it destroying us". "And Brooke, what do you see?" Brooke looked at the therapist, purposely avoiding her husband's eyes, "I don't even know anymore. If I am being honest with myself I see more of what is going on now, there seems to be no end in sight, no light at the end of the tunnel"

It killed Julian to hear his wife talk like that. She used to be so full of hope, even when they were not getting pregnant she was so positive that it would happen eventually. Somewhere in the past three years he had lost that person.

"Now taking a baby out of the equation what is the one thing that you would wish for? Right now". Julian was broken out of his train of thought by that question. "I want my wife back. And the happiness and freedom we used to have in our relationship. I want to see her laugh again, and to laugh with her. I want to take spontaneous trips without having to worry about TSAs regulations on hormone injections. I want the Brooke Davis I fell in love with" Brooke cleared her throat before answering, "and I want to be her. I miss who I used to be. I miss who Julian used to be, and what that made us".

The therapist looked at the broken couple in front of her. Cases like this were always difficult because the people involved were not only trying to find what they meant to each other but also what they meant to themselves. Furthermore this case did not involve any infidelity, or lies it was about two people trying to piece back their broken relationship, and their hearts. "You went back to Denver last week to speak to the doctors about the next step, what did they say?" Neither spoke for half a minute, both wanting the other to break the news to their therapist. Finally Julian spoke, avoiding his wife's eyes, because looking at them when talking about the trip to Denver would just be too painful, "They want to move on to IVF, but they are worried about Brooke's health. There worried because she has lost weight and her stress levels are off the charts, I guess they have the same worries with me. They um," Julian cleared his throat preparing to say the sentence that had next to destroyed Brooke a little over a week ago, "they suggested that we take some time. Time to re-evaluate and to get physically and mentally healthy again before starting what will most likely be another long and difficult journey". Brooke took a shaky breath, staring down at her original C/B slate grey pencil skirt and brushing tears away. Hearing it again was difficult. Even her doctors were recommending that she wait before moving on to the next steps. Would she ever get a baby? "Brooke? What are your thoughts on that? It must have been difficult to hear" the therapist asked. "Ummm, I want a baby. Hearing that I may have to wait to even try was…is hard. But I don't want to loose Julian. I know that this has been hard on him too. I mean he has to deal with everything too. I don't know what to do". Brooke replied.

Julian looked over at his wife, "Brooke, how many times to I have to tell you? You. Are. Not. Going. To. Loose. Me. You could run through the streets of Tree Hill wearing nothing but a bright green boa singing the national anthem and you still wouldn't loose me. The therapist smiled at Julian's love for his wife. If this couple had one thing working for them, it was that they loved each other very deeply. "Julian what are your thoughts on the recent prognosis?" "Well I want a baby too, but the last thing I want to do is put Brooke's health in danger. We are still young, and I don't think waiting a year before we take these drastic steps could hurt. We could use that time to find each other again." The bell went off signaling the end to their session. "Well I think we talked about a lot today. Don't make any decisions yet, but I want you both to weigh out the pros and cons of each side. I'll see you both here on Monday for your individual sessions, have a good weekend".

The car ride home was silent, with just the whirring of the engine. Brooke looked out the passengers seat window watching as the world blew by. It was a gorgeous spring day in Tree Hill, and the residents were taking advantage of the weather. She watched as they passed a young couple walking by hand-in-hand and sighed audibly. Julian took his eyes off the road briefly to look over at his wife. She was tired, and pale. She had lost about fifteen pounds and had dark circles under her eyes. But she was still the most beautiful person he knew. He grabbed her hands forcing Brooke to look over at him. "I love you," she exclaimed causing him to smile widely. "I love you too, and we are going to be okay, you and I." Brooke smiled lightly and leaned over to kiss him on his cheek, nodding. The ride continued in silence both thinking of what their lives had become and knowing that as long as they had each other, they would be okay.

**It's so hard when it doesn't come easy**

**It's so hard when it doesn't come fast**

**It's so hard when it doesn't come easy, easy**

**It's so hard**


	2. Lullaby

**AN: So after much thought I have decided that this is going to be best as a two shot. I tried to draft a middle part but I think it works best as the long flashback (instead of a part on its own). I had a lot of difficulty with this one (hence the delay in posting) and don't think that's is as good as the first part. This second part is based on the song **_**Lullaby**_** also by the Dixie Chicks. Please read and review. **

**They didn't have you where I come from**

**Never knew the best was yet to come**

**Life began when I saw your face**

**And I hear your laugh like a serenade**

The room was beautiful. It was simple but Brooke loved it. The walls were a warm bright white and the carpet was thick and comfortable, Brooke loved walking barefoot on it. Against one wall was a simple, small mural of pink butterflies. Bellow it lay the mahogany sleigh crib (with matching drawers, changing table glider and bookshelf against the other walls). But her favorite thing about this room was not the stuff, or the carpet or the painting (done by Peyton) but the person who inhabited it. Her six-week-old daughter, Caroline Peyton Baker. It was there, in her new favorite room of the house (her old favorite was her large walk in closet, which she considered a room), at 3:17 AM that Brook sat, feeding her child.

"Hey". Brooke looked up to see her exhausted husband standing in the doorway hair ruffled and eyes bloodshot. "If you want I can take over this feeding. You've woken up every time she has cried". Brooke smiled as he came over and kissed her on the forehead before rubbing their daughters head lightly.

"As temping as that may sound, your daughter is currently attached to my left breast and while I know I was never the best student I am fairly confident that men don't have mammary glands. At least not ones that are capable of producing breast milk. Besides, I don't mind. I wanna be with her forever."

Julian smiled sitting himself in a plush white armchair, watching his wife nurse his daughter sliding back and forth on the glider. "Can you believe she is here? After everything?" Brooke smiled at him and the couple both began a trip down memory lane.

**Flashback**

"ughhhh" Brooke exclaimed as she flopped back in bed. She felt like crap and had just returned from the bathroom where a marathon vomiting session had occurred. Julian walked back in the room having just put the coffee on in the kitchen and noticed his pale, yet slightly green wife laying in bed. "Were you just sick again babe?" Brooke responded with an other groan, "Enough is enough I am making you a doctors appointment for today" The smaller brunette opened her mouth to protest before her worried husband cut her off, "no Brooke. You have been sick for almost a week. I don't care that 'the flu is going around' or that you think its 'just stress' or that 'it gets better as the day goes on'' Julian exclaimed trying to cut off all of Brooke's potential excuses, "You are still throwing up every morning and are dizzy throughout the day. We're going to the doctors', end of discussion".

A few hours later the pair was sitting in an examination room at Wilmington Health Associates. Brooke sat on the exam table in one of those horrible paper gowns swinging her legs back and forth and biting her lip. Occasionally she would look over at Julian who was sitting in a chair in the corner pretending to be very interested in a diagram of the digestive system.

The door suddenly opened to reveal Brooke's doctor. "So Dr. Sullivan, what's wrong with me? It's just stress right? I mean I have a new line coming out plus fashion week in London coming up so…" Brooke trailed off hoping that her doctor would confirm her suspicions.

"Actually Brooke we found something else." Julian immediately jumped up and went over to his wife and grabbed her hand. They had heard similar words before, and they never ended well. The last time they heard them was in Colorado when the doctors recommended they (temporarily) stop fertility treatments. That was six months ago and the couple had just recently begun to piece their lives together. If something was seriously wrong Julian did not know how he or Brooke would handle it. Dr. Sullivan smiled warmly, "Don't worry kids its good news…. Congratulations, you're pregnant."

The couple looked at the doctor, dumbfounded. Finally Julian found his voice, "I'm sorry, I just heard you say that we're pregnant". Dr. Sullivan nodded, "You are, well Brooke is, technically. From her hormone levels I would say….about five weeks. We won't know for sure until we do an ultrasound at eight weeks."

Brooke smiled lightly before clearing her throat and stating, "Dr. Sullivan there has to be a mistake, I can't get pregnant. I mean I-we had a 25 percent chance of getting pregnant with fertility treatments and like a 10 percent chance without. We stopped fertility treatments six months ago because they weren't working. This is stress or the flu or something."

Again the doctor smiled before walking over to Brooke and squeezing the hand that Julian was not holding. "Brooke, I watched you and Julian suffer and struggle for three years. I double-checked the labs. Sometimes when couples stop trying, and take the pressure off of getting pregnant it happens. We don't exactly know how or why, but sometimes they do. Now. I am going to write you up a prescription for pre-natal vitamins. Take them everyday. For your morning sickness I recommend having some saltines or other light crackers by you bed along with a big glass of water and having them as soon as you wake up in the morning. Also don't be afraid to take things slow, it's perfectly all right. You will probably start moving faster and feeling better in your second trimester."

Dr. Sullivan paused before continuing, allowing the couple to absorb all of the information. Plus she knew the next sentence would worry them, "Now, I am going to give you the name of a high-risk pregnancy specialist. It is just a precaution. I have referred patients to her before and they have had totally normal pregnancies. But, due to the scarring on Brooke's uterus and the hormonal imbalances that made getting pregnant a challenge I would feel more comfortable if you were in her hands. She is an excellent doctor and a good friend. She delivered all three of my children. She works out of this clinic as well. Here is her card, please call her". Dr. Sullivan gave Julian the business card. "Congratulations you two. Go celebrate, you're starting a family."

**End Flashback**

"Thank God we had a relatively bump free pregnancy" Julian commented watching as Brooke burped their now sleeping daughter. "I mean this little one was born three weeks early and in a thunder storm that nearly made it impossible to get to the hospital but considering what it took to conceive her, her pregnancy was drama free".

Brooke rolled her eyes as she carefully transferred Caroline to the crib and rubbing her belly. "Says, the _guy_ who did not have to gain weight, or have heartburn, or have his ankles swell so much that he could only wear uggs, or a husband who wouldn't let him carry anything over five pounds which, p.s., makes carting fabrics around very difficult. And don't forget the labor part. And no Julian, nearly breaking your hand does _not_ make you 'understand the pains of labor'. But I would gladly do it again for this angel. Even if she does fall asleep while breast feeding leaving me lopsided." Brooke looked down at her breasts.

"See that is one of my favorite things about you having a baby-next to the actual having a baby-your boobs are _amazing_". Julian smirked leaning in to kiss his wife. The kiss intensified before Brooke, unhappily broke away, "Babe we can't. At least not until after Carrie's and my check up tomorrow. Six weeks. God that flew by. But I won't say no to cuddling and sleep until this one wakes up again." And with that the pair walked hand in hand across the hall to the master bedroom and fell asleep in each others arms, both content with their new (and sleepless) life.

**How long do you want to be loved**

**Is forever enough, is forever enough**

**How long do you want to be loved**

**Is forever enough**

**Cause I'm never, never giving you up**

**I slip in bed when you're asleep**

**To hold you close and feel your breath on me**

**Tomorrow there'll be so much to do**

**So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you**

"Well she finally fell asleep" Brooke said, coming back in to her and Julian's bedroom and flopping on the bed. "I swear Hales and Peyton are trying to get back at me for years of spoiling their children. I mean candy _and_ presents? On top of the cake and piñata we gave her? Makes for one sugar buzzed three year old." Julian smiled and spit his toothpaste into the sink before joining his wife on the bed. "Yeah, but it was a good party. Carrie really loved all the attention." Brooke turned to Julian, "Do you think she liked the present we gave her?" Julian smiled, "Yeah. I mean I think that she thinks there coming tomorrow or something, and she may change her mind once they arrive screaming and crying but I think she was happy. Are you happy?"

Julian was worried. The couple had decided about a year ago that they wanted to add more children to their family. After much thought and discussion they decided that trying to conceive again was not the best option, and Brooke knew she could never handle watching someone else carry her child. They finally settled on adoption and a few months after submitting their application to multiple agencies they heard back from one**. **

A girl named Samantha who lived just outside of Atlanta read their application and was drawn to the pair. She was young, only 15, and came from an unhappy household. Her parents were very focused on wealth and image and a teenage pregnancy did not fit into that. Brooke and Julian felt themselves able to relate. Both had grown up in families where image was everything and love was scarce. Plus the father was an idiot and a jackass who essentially pressured the young girl into sex, took photos and plastered them around school. Her parents, already angry that they had to transfer her to a different school to avoid all of the rumors, gave her three options: an abortion, give the baby up for adoption, or be kicked out of the house. Sam had chosen the second, and Brooke and Julian were thrilled.

Rolling over Brooke opened the drawer on the bedside table and pulled out the photo of the five-month ultrasound. Smiling as she ran her fingers over it she responded, "I'm excited, and very very happy. I can't believe our family is almost doubling. _Twins_." At the most recent ultrasound the pair had learned that Sam was carrying twins. The young girl had been worried that Julian and Brooke would decide not to adopt the babies after learning that there were two of them. If anything it made the couple even more excited, they were adding two little lives to their brood.

"You know what they say about twins, 'double trouble'. Think we'll be able to handle it?" Julian asked smirking at his wife. Rolling over to kiss him Brooke murmured,

" I know we will. Plus we have a huge support system what with Naley and Leyton and Haley's sister Quinn is moving back with her new husband, who btw is really hot. It's a good thing you already tied me down. These kids, all of our kids are really lucky they didn't grow up the way we did. I mean-"

Julian cut Brooke off by slamming his lips into hers. "Speaking of tying people down, what do you say we celebrate the birth of our daughter by re-creating the night she was conceived? Do you still have those fluffy pink handcuffs?"

Brooke laughed a throaty laugh and rose off the bed stripping her bathrobe off along the way to reveal a black and red lacy teddy. "Three steps ahead of you babe" she exclaimed, walking into her walk-in closet. Brooke took down the large shoebox where the pair kept a wide variety of sex toys she removed the handcuffs smiling as she recalled the night, over three years ago when her daughter was somehow, miraculously created. She walks back into the room swinging her hips seductively. Grinning one of his should be illegal grins Julian pulled Brooke on to the bed before using the cuffs to attach her to the headboard. "Damn-your fucking hot" he exclaimed leaving trails of kisses down her neck. The proud parents spent the next several hours making love.

Julian was sleeping next to her but Brooke lay awake looking at the ceiling. She still got like that sometimes, especially on Carrie's birthday or other important milestones. Despite the fact that she was soon to be a mother of three Brooke still felt…ashamed sometimes or like she had failed. She knew that this was ridiculous. Not only did she give birth to a beautiful baby girl three years ago, she already felt an overwhelming sense of love towards the unborn twins. She was a good mother, a good wife and a good friend. She knew that. Yet sometimes it was easy to forget. Days like this reminded her of the pain and suffering she and Julian had to endure to get to this point. Sometimes she wishes that Julian had chosen someone else to spend his life with- someone who he would not have to suffer with in order to attain happiness in the end. She never mentioned this thought to him, or to anyone other than her therapist.

Sliding out of bed Brooke padded across the hall and walked quietly into her daughters bedroom. It was still Brooke's favorite room. It had changed over the years, obviously, but it still had that warm inviting feeling that made it a perfect bedroom for a young child. Walking slowly across the room Brooke looked down at her daughter. Her brown hair was slightly messy and, despite the bubble bath she took a few hours before, the area around her lips still had a slightly red tint from the frosting of her cake. Her little hands grabbed the blanked (named "blanket") Jamie had given her the day she was born. Smiling, Brooke carefully slipped into her daughters' bed and closed her eyes.

A few years ago it was the cold biting sea breeze that Brooke would rely upon when she talked herself into a funk. Now it was the warm light breaths of her daughters sleeping form. Whenever she was having a bad day or questioning herself and her abilities as a wife and mother, one look at her healthy, happy daughter would erase all of that.

**How long do you want to be loved**

**Is forever enough, is forever enough**

**How long do you want to be loved**

**Is forever enough**

**Cause I'm never, never giving you up**

**As you wander through this troubled world**

**In search of all things beautiful**

**You can close your eyes and you're miles away**

**And hear my voice like a serenade**

Brooke ran down the hall of St. Marks's elementary school. She had received a call from the principle saying that her daughter was in the office after hitting a classmate. "Hi, I'm Brooke Baker, my daughter Carrie-Caroline, I got a call that she is here." Brooke spit out as she rushed into the office. "Yes Mrs. Baker, she is sitting right over there, Sister Crawley will be out shortly to speak to you." Brooke looked over to see her daughter sitting on a chair looking guilty. Her little seven-year-old legs swung back and forth, unable to reach the ground as she had inherited her mothers' height (or lack thereof). As angry as she was Brooke could not help but think her child looked so cute in her plaid skirt, white collard shirt and black patent leather Mary Jane's complete with ruffled white socks and green bows in her French braids.

"Caroline Peyton Baker!" Brooke exclaimed walking over to her daughter. Caroline looked up in fear. She never liked to make anyone mad and she rarely did. She was generally well behaved leaving her four-year-old siblings to do things like flush Brooke's newest designs and favorite watch down the toilet. "What were you thinking?!" She asked as she knelt down in front of her daughter looking into her big hazel eyes, "You know we don't hit people". Caroline was about to speak when the principle walked out. "Ahhh, Mrs. Baker, and Caroline, please come into my office" Caroline stood up shakily from the chair and noticing how nervous she was Brooke grabbed her hand. The pair of brunets followed the principle into her office and sat down in front of the big daunting desk.

"Mrs. Baker, Caroline, I am sure both of you are aware of our schools strict rules when it comes to violence. We do not tolerate it in any form no matter the circumstances." Caroline looked down tears brimming. "That being said, your teacher, Ms. Dawn informed me that your act of violence was provoked, and that the teasing by Tommy Martin has been going on for quite some time now. For this reason we are going to be lenient when it comes to punishment. We are sending you home for the rest of the day and you are required to apologize to Tommy for your actions tomorrow. However, consider this a final warning. Any further violence while you are attending St. Marks will lead to harsher punishment. Mrs. Baker, here is Mrs. Martin's phone number, while we try to encourage children to work out their difficulties on their own it may be time for parental intervention".

The principle handed a piece of paper with the young boys phone number on it to a shocked Brooke. She had no idea her daughter was having any difficulty at school, let alone what sounded like bullying. She was sure she and Julian would get to the bottom of this.

"Thank you Sister Crawley, your leniency is greatly appreciated. I am sure between my family and Tommy's we will be able to make sure none of this happened _ever again_. Carrie please apologize to Sister Crawley." Caroline lifted her tear-stained face and meekly apologized before following her mother out the door and to the car, happy that she was able to leave school.

"What are we supposed to do?" Brooke asked sitting on the counter as Julian sliced tomatoes for the salad. "I don't know babe. We obviously have to talk to her. I mean did she say anything about what this Tommy kid is teasing her about?"

Brooke sighed before jumping off the counter and grabbing a knife, cutting board and cucumber. "No. She didn't say anything about it. I tried to get her to talk in the car but nothing. HEY!" Brooke exclaimed as Julian took the cucumber away from his wife. "You don't know how to cook missy. You burnt rice the other day because American Idol came on. No. Cooking." Brooke pouted as Julian tossed the tomatoes into the salad bowl. Brooke was about to say something when the pair heard the stampeding of little feet.

"Mommyyyyy Dadddyyyyyyy" Brooke turned to watch her twins run into the room and smiled as they ran into her hugging her legs. "Hey babies did you two have fun with Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan?" Julian grinned as he watched his two youngest children interact with their mother. "More importantly Miss Molly and Mr. Noah" he began kneeling down and grabbing his now giggling children and beginning to tickle them "did you behave for your Aunt and Uncle?" "Yes! Yes! We did stop tickling us" Julian and Brooke smiled. There was nothing like the screaming laughter of your children to make all the stresses of the day disappear. "Okay guys, Daddy and I," Julian cleared his throat, "okay, Daddy is making dinner, so go play-don't make a mess and don't go into mommy's office-we'll call you when dinner is ready".

The twins scampered out of the room talking animatedly about how they wanted to fill there time before dinner. "You know that by telling them not to go into your office they are now going to go into your office."

Brooke smiled and leaned in to softly kiss her husband, "I know, which is why I put all of my sketches and drawing supplies up where they could a. not be seen and b. not be reached by our four year olds. As much as I love them the board would not appreciate if I had to delay my meeting again because certain someone's felt my designs were a coloring book. The second our loveable rascals walk in there and see nothing but a clear desk they'll get bored and go find something else to do."

Julian smiled at his wife's cleverness, "well hopefully they won't move into my office, I have new scripts in there and the last new script I had suddenly was covered in maple syrup. But back to the point at hand, after dinner we will sit down with Carrie, figure out what has been going on". The pair looked up when they heard a flush followed by screaming laughter, "uh, oh" Brooke said, "I'll go check to see what they flushed this time, I'll leave you to finishing this Mr. Mom" and with a kiss she left to see what trouble her twins had gotten themselves into.

Her brown hair lay damp down her back, curling as it always did after her bath. Her legs were crossed (or "criss cross apple sauce" as the twins dubbed it) on the couch. "Baby, please tell us what happened with Tommy" Brooke begged her stubborn daughter.

Finally she meekly responded, "he keeps making fun of me." Brooke sighed. She had very little experience in this. She was never the kid that was made fun of. Granted she was not the one who made fun of people either, but she had always been popular. Julian cleared his throat, "Honey what exactly does he make fun of you for?"

Carrie shrugged and pursed her lips looking shockingly like her mother. "I dun know lotsa stuff. But 'spechally my dimples. He says that they are holes and make my face look like swissed cheese" she wiped a tear that had escaped.

The couple looked at one another, sad that their daughter was having such a difficult time at school. "Well you know baby, one of my favorite things about your mommy his her dimples. I think they make her look beautiful, and you too. I bet you lots of kids wish they were as pretty at you, and had as beautiful a smile." Julian exclaimed pulling Caroline into his lap and giving her a hug.

Carrie looked at her parents skeptically, unsure how this would help her. "You know," Brooke began "my first boyfriend Conner Carrington made fun of my dimples too. For almost three months, then he asked me out. I bet you Tommy likes you and doesn't know how to show it. Who knows he could be your first _boyfriend_" Brooke said, knowing it would cause her daughter to laugh.

"ewwwwww!!!!" Carrie exclaimed truly horrified. "He's a _boy!! _That's gross Mommy". Her parents laughed at that exclamation. "But Carrie," Brooke continued, "you know better than to hit someone, even if they are being mean to you. We use our words in this house not our fists."

"Why don't you try to walk away instead?" Julian continued, "and if that doesn't work tell him that 'sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you'".

Caroline nodded, willing to try that the next time she was made fun of. "Okay, now that that is settled, you have a full day of school ahead of you tomorrow" Brooke stated kissing her daughter on the forehead, "go up to your room and your daddy and I will be up to read you a book".

Watching their daughter run up the stairs Julian turned to Brooke, "So, when did you have this first boyfriend? And how come I never heard of him before?"

Brooke smiled kissing her husband, "oh, first grade I think. I broke up with him after a week because I was more interested in Mikey Green and he was more interested in Maddie Harris." Julian sighed and looked up at the ceiling, "our girls are not allowed to date until they are 30. Seriously, you know that show 'ten simple rules for dating my teenage daughter' yeah its going to be like that. No boy is _looking at _let alone _touching_ our daughters without my explicit consent, and not until they are at _least_ 30, no 35."

Brooke laughed, "with _me _as their mother? Good luck with that babe. Besides we got married when we were 23 you seriously think that our daughters will listen to us?" Julian laughed before following his wife upstairs to read to his children and tucking them in bed. As crazy as his life was sometimes, he wouldn't give it up fro the world.

The next day at recess, after she had reluctantly apologized to both her teacher and Tommy, Caroline played on the jungle gym with her best friends. "Uh, oh!" Carrie looked over at her friend Meredith who had just slid down the slide.

Tommy was walking towards the group of girls with a vengeance, "you stupid butt!!" he yelled at Caroline. "You got me in trouble. My parents took away my Wii and my birthday party is this weekend! You're not invited 'cuz you're a stupid _baby_! You're such a baby! You went _crying to mommy_ you stupid BABY."

Caroline closed her eyes and heard her parents voices encouraging her, "That's fine Tommy. I don't want to go to your birthday party if you don't want me there. Sticks and stones may break my bones but _your mean words_ will _never_ hurt me!" With that she spun on her heel and walked to the other side of the yard, her friends following her, after all who needs stupid boys when you have your best friends?

**How long do you want to be loved**

**Is forever enough, is forever enough**

**How long do you want to be loved**

**Is forever enough**

**Cause I'm never, never giving you up**

__"Guys let's go! Were going to be late. And we still have to stop at Harris Teeter and get those pies." Brooke yelled up the stairs. Noah bounded down the stairs in his khaki pants, blue collard shirt and green and black bow tie, nearly knocking Brooke over.

"Whoa buddy, lets not make any trips to the emergency room tonight okay?" At the age of six Noah was well acquainted with the emergency room staff at Cape Fear Hospital. Julian had dubbed him "kamikaze" after he fell out of a tree (he had been trying to fly) when he was four, breaking his collar bone and receiving seventeen stitches, a black eye and a swollen lip. His was upset, not because he was hurt but because he had to wait several months before he could try again (Brooke put a stop to it as soon as she saw him begin that second climb). "We still have to wait for your father and sisters and we all know how long _that _can take."

"Well, that's not fair," Julian's voice came from behind Brooke kissing her lightly on the cheek "If I remember correctly, it was not _me_ who made us miss our flight to Florida last month because she could not decide what shoes to pack". The girls will be down shortly, I had to make Carrie change into the outfit _you_ laid out. She wanted to wear a mini skirt. _Why_ does our nine year old daughter own a mini skirt?"

Brooke rolled her eyes, "Its not a mini skirt babe. Granted it's not appropriate for Thanksgiving. But still, I swear you want our daughters to dress as if they are Amish."

With that the girls pranced down the stairs. "Mom this is the _prettiest _dress!" Molly exclaimed twirling around making the Burberry print dress float out. Brooke was happy that she was able to still dress at least one of her daughters in "girly" dresses, even if she did get them dirty playing with her brother, six year old cousin Keith and seven year old cousin Olivia. Her eldest loved being girly, her room was bright pink, but drew the line at dresses with big swirling skirts. Instead she was dressed in a grey sweater dress, black leggings and forest green Naughty Monkey flats. Haley always made fun of Brooke for dressing Caroline like a model or a mini Blaire Waldorf.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" Haley exclaimed as she opened the door to the Baker clan, smiling as the twins pushed their way into the door and ran off to find their cousins. "Guys don't push your Aunt! Keith and Olivia aren't going anywhere." Brooke yelled after the twins. She loved that they were raising their children with a large extended family, even if the Bakers were not technically related to the Scotts. As luck would have it both Scotts had children around the same age as theirs, Keith being Leyton's son and Olivia being Naley's third child. It always made for a plethora of playmates, something Julian and Brooke sorely missed out on as children.

"Aunt Haley are Sawyer and Katie around?" Caroline asked taking off her coat and hanging it in the closet before giving her Aunt a hug. "Yeah hun, there up in Katie's room playing with William and Emily."

"Cool!" Caroline exclaimed before running off to join her cousins. Sawyer and Katie were older than Carrie but they still loved playing together, especially when the youngest family members William (age one) and Emily (age two) were there. Katie had been mortified when her mother got pregnant yet _again_ when she was nine, but after William was born all of that went away. She was now old enough to actually help take care of her younger sibling and loved doing so. Add in her Aunt Quinn and Uncle Clay's two year old, Emily and Katie always had younger kids to hang out with again. Sawyer and Caroline were pleased to help, especially because whenever the twins, Keith and Olivia got together they had _no_ desire to play dress up with the older cousins and siblings.

"Ughhhhh! I hate being pregnant." Quinn moaned as she eased her body on to the couch. "I'm a friggen beached whale!" Haley laughed at her older sister. She had gone through that four times. And as much as she loved her precious children, pregnancy and labor never got easier or more enjoyable.

"Well," Brooke began rubbing her hand over Quinn's round belly, "at least you look fantastic! That color really looks great on you!" Quinn laughed, "Well, the designer is truly talented." The couples laughed at that exclamation. "But seriously Brooke, I am digging all of these maternity clothes! It's the best thing about being pregnant, I am the most fashionably dressed in my Lamaze class. Other than the other women who wear you that is."

After getting pregnant with Caroline, Brooke had begun to design maternity clothes. It was something she had wanted to do for a while but when she and Julian were struggling to get pregnant she did not have the heart for it. After hearing her daughters heartbeat for the first time her inspiration came flooding back. Now, nine years later B. Belly was a huge success. All proceeds from the line, went to non-profit organizations that sought to prevent and treat infertility, as well as provide support (both monetary and emotional) to those struggling. Brooke had become an advocate for other women facing fertility issues and was delighted she could turn her passion for design into something that helped others.

"Mama! Daddy!" The adults were jerked out of their thoughts by the twins, Keith and Olivia running into the living room. "We found _worms_!! Keith exclaimed as the kids all held out their dirt and worm filled hands. "Can we keep 'um mama? _Please!!_" Olivia begged Haley as the rest of the kids nodded towards there parents. The fathers and Quinn, tried to contain their laughter as Peyton, Haley and Brooke looked at their children aghast.

"NO!" Haley exclaimed. 'Livs maybe we can get you a goldfish or something less…messy. Go put the worms back where they belong." Peyton and Brooke seconded that opinion as the kids went back outside, grumbling. "And wash your hands!" Julian yelled after them, still trying not to laugh As soon as they were out of sight Quinn and Clay burst into laughter. "Hey you two, just wait until that little boy is six" Peyton exclaimed pointing to Quinn's tummy, "you won't be laughing then…well Clay will but Quinny you'll be left to clean up after it."

About an hour later the large extended family was seated around the table. They adults didn't believe in having two separate tables for kids and grown-ups. It was a holiday, and family should sit together. Granted the little kids got plastic cups and plates but they were still together. Nathan cleared his throat before rising his glass of Chardonnay, "I just wanted to say thank you all for coming to dinner. Growing up I never thought I would have a family dinner, let alone a holiday, where the subject of my basketball career did not take over the conversation, leading to a fight and someone storming out. Thank you to my wife and Peyton for preparing this lovely feast we have in front of us, and for keeping Brooke and Quinn out of the kitchen." Brooke and Quinn gasped in mock offence "To love, laughter and family." Everyone repeated the last sentence before clinking glasses and digging in to the feast.

"Ummmm, things that you see at the zoo we have earwig" Lucas said looking down at his paper. "Damn! So do we." Clay exclaimed crossing it out. While Brooke and Julian did the same, shaking there heads "Hales and Nate what did you guys get?" Haley smirked "Emu! Guys we play Scattergories every year! You have to know by now that simple, but not too simple is always best!"

"Oh! Because watermelon on a pizza is _sooooo_ normal." Julian exclaimed shooting Nathan a look. "Hey! We should have won with that. _I_ maintain that watermelon on a pizza could happen." Nathan responded. The couples laughed at the ongoing joke. Nathan, it seemed would never let that one go.

"Okay resident mathleete," Nathan said returning Julian's stare and moving on to the next category, "math terms…" The couples continued to play until a clear winner was crowned (Leyton for the second year in a row), before bidding each other good night and returning to their respective homes. After all they all had young children to put to bed and Christmas trees to buy the next day.

It was late at night and all of the craziness of the holiday combined with the massive amounts of food made for five very exhausted Baker's. After neatening up the house Brooke and Julian walked hand in hand up stairs to Caroline's room, prepared to say a quick goodnight to her before tucking in and reading to the twins (Caroline insisted that she was now old enough to read to herself, something that simultaneously pleased and saddened Brooke).

For her 9th birthday Caroline had asked for a room makeover complete with a re-paint and a new queen bed. The soft glow from her nightlight illuminated the room in a soft pink. "Look at them" Brooke commented.

The twins were asleep on either side of their big sister, who was also sleeping. In Caroline's hands was _The Cat in the Hat Comes Back_, the twins current favorite book. Julian smiled at the image, "looks like we are off reading duty, it seems as if Carrie wants to take over for us."

Brooke smiled as they walked in to the bedroom, quietly kissing their children and pulling the polka-dotted duvet over them. This was not the first time they had all fallen asleep together, but it touched them every time. They were truly lucky. Sure their children fought sometimes and the twins seemed to revel in making trouble, but they also loved each other and had what Julian and Brooke never did as children, happy loving homes.

The pair stood in the doorway, watching the scene in front of them. Brooke stood behind Julian arms wrapped around his waist and buried her nose in his back, inhaling the sent that still drove her crazy.

"This is what I am most thankful for. You, and the kids. Our life together. Yeah it was hard to get to and we caused each other a lot of pain and heartbreak, but we have a pretty great life together. I love you Julian, more than you will ever know."

Julian smiled and brought Brooke into a side hug kissing her on the forehead. "I love you too Brooke Baker, and I love our children and our life. This is what I dreamed of. This is what I want for the rest of my life."

The two stood there, happily watching their three children knowing that they had finally achieved their dreams, that there life was complete.

**How long do you want to be loved**

**Is forever enough, is forever enough**

**How long do you want to be loved**

**Is forever enough**

**Cause I'm never, never giving you up**

**Is forever enough**

**Cause I'm never, never giving you up**

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

**AN: So I know that **_**last **_**part may have been confusing with who all the children are, and I didn't want to leave this in an AN at the start of this chapter because I felt it would give away aspects of the story. So just in case you need a reference: **

**Brooke and Julian, 3 kids: Caroline (9), Molly (6) and Noah (6) **

**Nathan and Haley, 4 kids: Jamie (14), Katie (11), Olivia (7) and William (1)**

**Lucas and Peyton, 2 kids: Sawyer (12) and Keith (6)**

**Quinn and Clay, 1 kid (Quinn pregnant): Emily (2)**

**On a totally separate note I have ideas for other Brulian fics but don't have the time to write them, so if anyone wants to write a story but is having difficulty thinking of **_**what**_** they want to write about please PM me. I am happy to give ideas. **


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